Long-distance Caregiving:
Families are now living further apart from each other. This is difficult because your elders require ever-increasing assistance, yet the distance between you makes it difficult to perform the tasks of a primary caregiver. There are several ways to help manage long distance caregiving.
Try to visit as soon as possible to assess the situation. Take notes of possible problem areas and gather information about senior resources in their area.
Make sure legal and financial affairs are in place. Keep copies of important papers and telephone numbers of contacts (Refer to contact forms).
Plan ahead to have back up family care providers in case you need to make an unexpected visit to your relative. It is also a good idea to bank some vacation or sick days from work for these visits as well.
Set up a system of support. Ask a friend or relative in town to check with your parent on a regular basis. Be prepared to contact that person to learn of any changes.
Seek the assistance of a Professional Geriatric Care Manager specializing in assessing and monitoring the needs of the elderly.
Consider all the options before moving your relative, but begin talking with them about this possibility. You could be surprised to learn they are willing to move closer to you, but they never mentioned this for fear of burdening you with their problems.
Retain a copy of the Yellow Pages that serves your parent’s community. The next time your parent calls and you need to locate resources, you won’t need to search out numbers or call information long-distance.
Effective Communication with Older Adults:
Communication can be challenging even in the best of situations. Caregivers are faced with the task of discussing many difficult issues with the older adult. The problem can be further complicated if the older adult is suffering from memory loss and confusion. The following are suggestions to help caregivers talk with older adults:
Hold discussions in a quiet setting at a time of day that is best for the elder.
Listen to the older adult. Effective communication requires listening and acknowledging the other person’s opinions and feelings.
Stay positive; Use constructive suggestions instead of blanket statements.
Provide accurate information to the older adult. Do not try to "spare" them by telling half-truths and by making promises you may not be able to keep. It’s better to say "we will work on keeping you in your home as long as you are able," instead of saying "I will never put you in a nursing home," unless you are able to commit to 24 hour caregiving.
Allow the older adult time to process the information without rushing them into a quick decision. You don’t want them to react out of fear or guilt. Be patient. Some older adults need extra time to express themselves and process information. Consider writing a list of questions and concerns to give to older adult allowing them time to review them and formulate responses.
Involve other care providers in conversations. For example, if you are discussing a legal matter it may be useful to involve an attorney who can provide the information in a more emotionally detached manner.
Consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager to facilitate the discussion between family members and the older adult.
Don’t be afraid to share your own feelings and emotions.
Communicating with the hearing impaired:
Check hearing aids (if used) regularly to ensure proper functioning.
Speak slowly and clearly; face the individual directly.
It may be useful to write down parts of the conversation so that important points are not misinterpreted.
Communicating with persons having memory loss or dementia:
Use simple words and sentences. Speak slowly; use a calm, but amply loud voice.
Supplement your words with nonverbal cues.
If you are giving directions, don’t assume that they are being understood. Have the elder repeat instructions back to you and explain what they mean. Individuals with dementia may talk very fluidly, but the words may have no meaning.
When communication is difficult, listen for words that are repeated or seem especially meaningful, as these may indicate the core of what your parent is trying to communicate.
Don’t provide excessive information or detail if you know the elder can’t process it, and don’t provide it too soon if it will only trigger weeks of disturbing thoughts.
Long-distance Caregiving:
Families are now living further apart from each other. This is difficult because your elders require ever-increasing assistance, yet the distance between you makes it difficult to perform the tasks of a primary caregiver. There are several ways to help manage long distance caregiving.
Try to visit as soon as possible to assess the situation. Take notes of possible problem areas and gather information about senior resources in their area.
Make sure legal and financial affairs are in place. Keep copies of important papers and telephone numbers of contacts (Refer to contact forms).
Plan ahead to have back up family care providers in case you need to make an unexpected visit to your relative. It is also a good idea to bank some vacation or sick days from work for these visits as well.
Set up a system of support. Ask a friend or relative in town to check with your parent on a regular basis. Be prepared to contact that person to learn of any changes.
Seek the assistance of a Professional Geriatric Care Manager specializing in assessing and monitoring the needs of the elderly.
Consider all the options before moving your relative, but begin talking with them about this possibility. You could be surprised to learn they are willing to move closer to you, but they never mentioned this for fear of burdening you with their problems.
Retain a copy of the Yellow Pages that serves your parent’s community. The next time your parent calls and you need to locate resources, you won’t need to search out numbers or call information long-distance.
Effective Communication with Older Adults:
Communication can be challenging even in the best of situations. Caregivers are faced with the task of discussing many difficult issues with the older adult. The problem can be further complicated if the older adult is suffering from memory loss and confusion. The following are suggestions to help caregivers talk with older adults:
Hold discussions in a quiet setting at a time of day that is best for the elder.
Listen to the older adult. Effective communication requires listening and acknowledging the other person’s opinions and feelings.
Stay positive; Use constructive suggestions instead of blanket statements.
Provide accurate information to the older adult. Do not try to "spare" them by telling half-truths and by making promises you may not be able to keep. It’s better to say "we will work on keeping you in your home as long as you are able," instead of saying "I will never put you in a nursing home," unless you are able to commit to 24 hour caregiving.
Allow the older adult time to process the information without rushing them into a quick decision. You don’t want them to react out of fear or guilt. Be patient. Some older adults need extra time to express themselves and process information. Consider writing a list of questions and concerns to give to older adult allowing them time to review them and formulate responses.
Involve other care providers in conversations. For example, if you are discussing a legal matter it may be useful to involve an attorney who can provide the information in a more emotionally detached manner.
Consider hiring a Geriatric Care Manager to facilitate the discussion between family members and the older adult.
Don’t be afraid to share your own feelings and emotions.
Communicating with the hearing impaired:
Check hearing aids (if used) regularly to ensure proper functioning.
Speak slowly and clearly; face the individual directly.
It may be useful to write down parts of the conversation so that important points are not misinterpreted.
Communicating with persons having memory loss or dementia:
Use simple words and sentences. Speak slowly; use a calm, but amply loud voice.
Supplement your words with nonverbal cues.
If you are giving directions, don’t assume that they are being understood. Have the elder repeat instructions back to you and explain what they mean. Individuals with dementia may talk very fluidly, but the words may have no meaning.
When communication is difficult, listen for words that are repeated or seem especially meaningful, as these may indicate the core of what your parent is trying to communicate.
Don’t provide excessive information or detail if you know the elder can’t process it, and don’t provide it too soon if it will only trigger weeks of disturbing thoughts.
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